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OVER 30 FESTIVALS, 10 nominations, 8 awards.
Inventor, disruptive filmmaker. My disruptive methods here. 

My bio and speeches here
This investment will comply with the securities and exchange laws of the province of BC. This offer is void in Pennsylvania. After signing and paying, you can change your mind within 3 days and get your full money back. For "accredited investors" only. See more below.
Recession/depression proof. 10 x ROI possible. Two reasons.

1. If there is 20% unemployment, the 80% employed can easily afford a low cost video. They will still want entertainment, and 3 or 4 dollars is cheap. Plus it's instant and safe.

2. This movie is dirt cheap to make. Meaning it breaks even quickly.
Most independent movies lose money. It is because their cost is too high! Say an indy movie earns back half of it's cost. If the cost had been 1/20th as much, it would have made 10 times ROI.

This movie will cost only $26,210 CAD. (About $19,700 USD). It will utilize new actors and a crew of two, using my disruptive shooting methods. So it breaks even fast. (Other indy filmmakers would have a budget of 260K or more by the way.)

Another reason most indy films lose money is because they try to copy Hollywood. "Trying to copy Hollywood is as stupid as trying to swim to Australia." (And we are not stupid, right?)

So we won't waste effort on fancy shots or trying to get it into theatres or big TV. That would be stupid. It will be made for net distribution, for a niche audience. (The two lead characters will be patterned after Marilyn Monroe, and Bettie Page, who both still have millions of fans.)

The Magic Lemon will be about 75 minutes long, ideal for Amazon Prime, VOD, Netflix and niche TV. A 10 X ROI is possible. Distribution is guaranteed.

You and friends and family can be in the movie too! You can tell everyone you're a movie producer.

Watch the cold read of the movie.... If you laugh, you'll know others will laugh too, and that you will make money!  You can read the script too!
The lead characters will be "sweater girls", like the actress above. What's a sweater girl? It was a huge fad in the 1950's. See some funny pictures here.  And here.
The 51 minute cold read here gives you an idea of what the real movie will be like. The real movie will be funnier, because it will be memorized, with close ups of hillarious looks and reactions. It will be longer because the locations will be shown, instead of quick descriptions.

And there may be some other bit characters too. Like you and your friends and family!

The Budget.

Notes: The investor(s) get 100% of sales until their full investment is paid back. After that, the investor(s) get 50% of sales for a full 10 years, or until 10 X ROI is received, whichever comes first.

The budget includes a contingency amount of $1500. If it is not used, it will be paid back to the investor(s) after the movie is finished.

Costs:

Producer                   $4000
Cast                           $9400
Crew                          $1000
Editing                       Free
Director                      Free
Camera etc                 Free
Permits                       $1800
Insurance                    $500
Filmmaker                  $3600 ($600 per month from start to final                                                                     sales platform submissions. I will work my                                                      butt off to make it sell.
Miscellaneous            $300
Netflix aggregator     $2000
Vimeo VOD fee         $260
Food                          $1000
Transportation           $300
Main Location           Free
Wardrobe                   $400
Closed Captions        $150
Contingency              $1500
Script                         Free

Total                      $26,210 Canadian dollars, about $19,700 US dollars.


Distribution is guaranteed on Amazon Prime Video, and Vimeo on Demand. It will also be distributed through filmhub.com and they distribute to over 70 sales platforms around the world. At least a few will pick it for sure. To submit to Netflix, an aggregator (like an agent) is needed, hence the $2000 fee for this in the budget.)



The Magic Lemon
(working title)
A screenplay by Steve Cosmic
Draft 4.1,  February 16, 2020


A soap opera musical comedy. Three main characters.  There are 3 songs, sung a capella.  Mistakes OK!  Bad singing OK! This is a comedy!

NOTE: This script contains notes to make the movie easier to visualize, so that potential actors can decide if they want to apply for the roles.

This is a CHARACTER DRIVEN MOVIE. No lavish sets, the locations are ordinary, but the characters captivate the audience. They are funny sometimes, but don't realize it. They do not try to be funny. They suspect they are soap opera characters, and they are!

Molly, 20's, shapely, attractive, is studying acting. She supports herself as a movie extra, model and waitress. She was raised on a farm, and knows how to ride horses, and drive a farm tractor. When she was about 7, her father took her to a car show, where she was fascinated by a bikini model standing by a car. She overheard the bikini model say "This is the best job in the world." That event has shaped her life.

She idolizes Pamela Anderson and wants to be like her, in movies and on TV. Her acting experience so far has been as a movie extra where she is usually in a bikini, and in student films. She likes being in a bikini and showing off. She is willing to be in most any movie.

Her best friend Silvie, is also in her 20's. She is a university student and lives on her student loans and help from her parents. She is studying film history, and she has memorized some scenes from famous movies. She can impersonate Marilyn Monroe. She is taking acting classes, and unlike most people she understands Molly and does not think she is weird.

Silvie married an upcoming film director, and the marriage lasted two weeks. After that she had a lesbian relationship for a short while but decided being a lesbian was not for her.  She wants to play serious dramatic roles but says she would wear a bikini in a movie to get the job.

Ryan, about 25-30, handsome, fit and muscular. He is an aspiring actor. He takes acting classes and works delivering pizzas. He wears tops that show his muscles. He can juggle a bit, and practices it sometimes. He hopes it will get him a role in a movie.


OUTSIDE-DAY

Molly walks out of a small McDonald's, carrying a coffee. She is wearing a bikini under a thigh length wrap top, and she has the belt adjusted loosely so people can see she is wearing a bikini underneath. She walks out of McDonald's licking a soft ice cream cone. She gets a bit of the ice cream on her nose and wipes her nose with her hand.

A few steps farther along she licks her ice cream cone and the ice cream falls on the sidewalk.

MOLLY
Fuck! (It will be bleeped out.... bleeps are funny!)

She keeps walking. She will walk in several locations.
(She is walking behind a camera on a dolly) She looks around as she walks to see if anyone is looking, and then raises one of her arms slightly to smell her armpit. She tries to make it look to anyone watching that she is not smelling her armpit. She looks around some more and then does the same on her other armpit. Satisfied she does not smell too bad she continues walking. Sometimes she gives extended looks to people or vehicles she sees as she walks.

While she is walking a song, Don't Drop The Baby is heard. The song is from a later scene where she sings it a capella. She walks onto a sidewalk and continues to a low rise apartment. She enters the apartment.

CUT TO:
Interior of apartment

Molly enters an apartment as the song ends. Her roommate Sylvie is home.

INTERIOR, DAY, the apartment of Molly and Sylvie.

Sylvie is in summer atire which includes a top which shows cleavage. She is anxiously texting on her phone.

SYLVIE
Hi,...... I might have an audtion! I'm  textting back......

MOLLY
Cool.

Molly sits down. Sylvie finishes texting.

MOLLY
What's the audition for?

SYLVIE
It's playing a hooker in a western. It's set in the 1800's. There's aliens. And dinosaurs. .... and zombies. And vampires of course.

MOLLY
Of course. Is it a paid gig?

SYLVIE
For sure. It's fairly big budget. There's a big star too. I forget his name.... he's an English guy who doesn't have ears like Prince Charles.

MOLLY
Sounds good. When do you audition?

SYLVIE
I'm not sure if I audition yet. I should know later. I'm excited!

MOLLY
Well, break a leg.

SYLVIE.
Thanks. What does that mean anyway, break a leg?

MOLLY
I don't know really. Everyone says it.
(beat)
I broke my leg once and it really hurt.

SYLVIE
I'm gonna try and put together a hooker outfit. Well, if I get the audition,... I sure
hope so.

MOLLY
I'll help you put together an outfit.... if you want. I've got some
clothes that look slutty.

SYLVIE
Yeah..... I know you do.  I remember that time I came
home and you were wearing one of your slutty outfits,
playing Monolopy by yourself.

MOLLY
Yeah well I was feeling down. I got stood up for
a date. It's something I used to do when I was young.
(beat) It's fun sometimes, if you win.

Sylvie gives Molly an incredulous look.

MOLLY
Sometimes I cheat when I play. You're the only one
I've ever told, so don't tell anyone.

SYLVIE
My lips are sealed. I would cheat at video games
but I don't know how.

MOLLY
I know how! I can show you!

SYLVIE
Cool. Then I can get a high score. (beat)
I was just going to make some lunch. You want KD?

MOLLY
Sure! That sounds great!

Sylvie walks into the kitchen and starts making KD.

Molly digs around in a cardboard box and pulls out a framed print of the Mona Lisa. She admires it while Sylvie cooks.

Sylvie walks into the dining area with two plates of KD and forks. There are peas in the KD.

MOLLY
Wow, you added peas. You went all out. You didn't have to be so fancy!

SYLVIE
I know you like it when I cook it this way.

MOLLY
This is AWSOME! Thank you!

SYLVIE
I see you dug out your old oil painting.

MOLLY
Yeah, I'm thinking of selling it. I might put it on eBay.
If I can get enough for it I might take that acting course in
New York I was telling you about. (beat)
It's expensive.

SYLVIE
That's a big commitment and it takes a year. It would probably
cost you $30,000. Do you think you'll get that much?

MOLLY
Well the guy I bought it from said it was worth
a hundred thousand. It was a yard sale. I paid $300 for it. He wanted $500
but I got a discount for standing around for the day in my bikini.


SYLVIE
You wear bikinis a lot.

MOLLY
Well I think it's my key to getting acting gigs. Plus I like the attention.
I think it's from my childhood actually.

SYLVIE
What do you mean?

MOLLY
Well one time when I was a little girl my dad took me to a carshow.
There was a bikini model standing by a car. I couldn't stop
looking at her. And I heard her say to someone that she had
the best job in the world. So I think that's why I like wearing a bikini.

SYLVIE
Oh, now I see. (beat)
Nothing wrong with that, if it works. (beat)
I really like the painting. I'd give you 50 thousand for it if I had it.

They eat their KD.  Molly props up the print of the painting. They admire it.

MOLLY
It's 3000 years old.
(beat)

The frame is solid gold.

SYLVIE
I hope you make a lot of money and you can take your special acting class.

MOLLY
Thanks. I'd like to play dramatic, meaningful roles that are funny too.

SYLVIE
I want to be in serious movies that need great acting. No vampires or hookers.
(beat) But I'll be a hooker to get started. Or even wear a bikini.

Silvie eats her KD

SILVIE
Does it sometimes seem that we are kind of living in a script? Like,
we are living in a soap opera?

MOLLY
All the time. I have felt that my whole life.

SILVIE
Maybe we are. I wonder what it's called? The soap opera....

MOLLY
Maybe it's called the no name soap opera..... I know!
The Wannabe Stars!

SYLVIE
Hmm, maybe. Do you want to go for a walk after we
finish eating?

MOLLY
Sure. Let's go down by the beach. I can wear my bikini.

SYLVIE
It's cold out.

MOLLY
Yeah I know. But people still swim when it's cold. (beat)
Though they wear wet suits. (beat) I'll wear my cardigan over
my bikini.

FADE OUT

FADE IN
Kitsilano Beach park. They are walking along on the pavement., walking behind the camera on a dolly. Sylvie is wearing shorts or a skirt and a sleeveless top. Molly is wearing her bikini under her wrap, or perhaps a long cardigan sweater or similar, with her bikini showing a bit. They are drinking take out coffee as they walk.

MOLLY
I think they shouldn't allow dogs here.

SYLVIE

Why not?

MOLLY
Cuz they poop and this is a public place.

SYLVIE
But the people pick up after them.

MOLLY
Not always......

They walk in silence for about 20 seconds, sipping at their coffees. Molly suddenly speaks.

MOLLY
Look out!

Molly pushes Sylvie aside.... Sylvie had been about to step in some dog poop. There will be a close up of their feet and the dog poop.

SYLVIE
Wow, you saved me! Thanks a lot. You are such a good friend,
and such a good person.

MOLLY
I try to be a good friend. But I'm not really a good person.

SYLVIE
Why do you say that?

MOLLY
Well, you know Casandra, or Princess Casandra as I call her,
in our acting class?

SYLVIE
Yeah, she thinks she's such a great actress because she was in a deodorant
commercial. And because she's got great boobs.

MOLLY
Mine are great too. (beat) Anway, I was walking with her one
time and she was walking towards some dog poop and I never
warned her. She stepped right in it!

SYLVIE
And what happend? After that?

MOLLY
She swore like crazy. And she started to cry because
she was on her way to an audition. I didn't let her
see, but I was smiling when she wasn't looking at me.

I can be such a bitch sometimes.

SYLVIE
Yeah, well who can't be?

MOLLY
I think she made a porn movie.
(numerous beats)
And she's got such a weird voice.
(numerous beats)
And I think her boobs are fake.
(beats)
And her hair style is stupid.
(beats)
And she wears too much makeup.
(beats)
And the outfits she wears....

SYLVIE
Enough already.

Molly looks at Sylvie. She had wanted to keep belittleing Casandra but she doesn't.

MOLLY
I'm such a bitch.

SYLVIE
Umhuu.

They continue walking and walk by a guy juggling 3 lemons. It is Ryan, and he is wearing a sleeveless shirt that shows his muscles, or he may be shirtless, with his shirt hanging from his belt. He glances at the girls while he juggles and loses his concentration and drops his lemons. The girls smile as they walk by.

MOLLY
I think he likes me.

SYLVIE
Why do you think that?


MOLLY
Because I made him drop his lemons.

SYLVIE
I made him drop his lemons, he was looking at me!

MOLLY
Whatever. (beat) Stop for a sec.
I want to look at him.

They stop to look, and Ryan can be seen juggling in the distance.

SYLVIE
Do you think he's smart?

MOLLY
Who cares.

SYLVIE
(sighs) Yeah,  right.

They continue walking and leave the beach area and walk on a street, heading home. They are on a residential street sidewalk with the ocean in the background, walking behind the camera on a dolly. Molly finishes her coffee.

MOLLY
The coffee was good. I want another one.

SYLVIE
We can't.

MOLLY
Why not?

SYLVIE
It's not in the script.

Molly looks perplexed a bit, as she is not excatly sure what Sylvie means. They continue walking. Several beats.

MOLLY
Well. what's next?

SYLVIE
The car chase scene.

Molly mouths the words "car chase scene" as if to help herself figure out what Sylvie means. At that very moment they are at the intersection of a street and a lane, and a car pulls into the lane in front of them. They almost walk into the car on the passenger side. Sylvie hits the car with her purse. The car stops. Sylvie runs to the drivers side of the car and hits the car again. Molly hits the hood of the car with her purse.

SYLVIE
Hey.....!!! Watch where you're going!!! You almost hit us!!

MOLLY
Yeah!! You should be more careful!!

They continue to hit the car as the driver pulls forward. The driver looks scared.  The girls run after the car, flailing the air with their purses as they run. THEY HAVE A FUNNY WAY OF RUNNING. They speak as they run. When Molly speaks she is not really sure why she is speaking or running.

SYLVIE
You idiot!!

MOLLY
(looks at Sylvie)
Yeah, you idiot!

SYLVIE
Wait till we catch you!!

MOLLY
Yeah, wait till we catch you!!

They run through the lane and catch up to the car which has stopped at the intersection of the lane and the next street. The driver had to wait for traffic. The girls catch up to the car and start hitting the car again. The car pulls across the street and into the lane ahead. The girls run after him. They speak as they run.

SYLVIE
Stop!!

MOLLY
Yeah stop! (several beats) What will we do if we catch him?

SYLVIE
We don't catch him.

They are both puffing from the running. Sylvie stops and Molly does the same. They put their hands on their knees, leaning over, puffing like they have run a long Olympic race. As they are stopping, Sylvie
brushes Molly to the side a bit.

MOLLY
What?

SYLVIE
You're on my mark.

MOLLY (moves over a bit)
Oh, sorry.

Shot of their feet and the ground showing two big chalk X's on the ground.

MOLLY
What do we do now?

SYLVIE
We go home.

They start walking back home. A Production Assistant, wearing PA gear walks into frame, looks at the girls and the camera and then runs out of frame. She has an apologetic/sorry look on her face.

FADE OUT

FADE IN
Molly and Sylvie enter their apartment. Molly looks in the fridge while Sylvie sits down. Sylvie checks her text messages. Molly enters the dining area and sits down.

MOLLY
It looked like that guy was trying to drive right in front of us.

Sylvie gives her a knowing look.

MOLLY
And why did the camera man give him 50 bucks?

Another knowing look from Sylvie.

SYLVIE
(sighing) That is a mystery.

MOLLY
There's nothing in the fridge. We should do some shopping.

SYLVIE
OK. We should walk through the park on our way to Safeway.

MOLLY
It's longer that way. Why should we go through the park?

SYLVIE
You'll see......

Molly is puzzeled.

SYLVIE
Got some money? It's your turn to buy.

MOLLY
Yeah I do.

They get their purses and walk out.

FADE OUT

FADE IN

They walk along a residential street and they come to a park. They start walking across the playing field.

CUT TO
Ryan entering the playing field diagonal to the girls. Ryan is walking towards them, juggling 3 lemons. He drops one or more somtimes and picks up and continues. When he gets closer the girls notice him and start to get excited. They can see that their paths will converge in the center of the playing field. They get close in the center of the field. Ryan has his shirt hanging from his belt. They all stop to keep from bumping into each other.

Ryan drops a lemon and it rolls towards the girls. Molly picks it up and tosses it back to him.

RYAN
Thanks.
(beat)
I'm practicing my juggling. I want to get in a movie.

SYLVIE
I want to get in a movie too!

MOLLY
Me too!

RYAN
I'm taking acting classes.

SYLVIE AND MOLLY TOGETHER
Me too!

RYAN
I've got an audition coming up.

SYLVIE AND MOLLY TOGETHER
Me too!

MOLLY
Well maybe. There's a pretty good chance.

SYLVIE
Yeah,.. there's a good chance for me too.

RYAN
I'm going to sing a song at my audition.
Do you want to hear it?

SYLVIE AND MOLLY TOGETHER
Yes!

Ryan clears his throat and prepares to sing. He juggles as he starts the song, but drops his lemons and gives up juggling and keeps singing.

RYAN sings in any style and tempo. He sings the song looking at them both equally, though they both think he is singing just for them. There will be close up cutaways to the girls faces, and they are moved and react like it is the most beautiful love song ever written!

I loved the way you walked and smiled
And how the sun shone in your hair

I dropped a lemon it fell out of my hand
I couldn't help but stare.

But I'm only an actor who delivers pizza
Waiting for my big break

I want to juggle my way into your heart,
Plus it would be nice to do ya,
I want to share my life and my lemons too,
Plus it would be nice to do ya.

I've been unlucky at love except for my dog,
His name's Roger and he loves me,

When you got close I liked the way you smelled
Kinda like violets and tangerine.

Your teeth looked fairly good and not too crooked
(I'll bring you some whitening toothpaste)

I want to juggle my way into your heart,
Plus it would be nice to do ya,
I want to share my life and my lemons too,
Plus it would be nice to do ya.
I'd really like to do ya.

MOLLY
Bravo! Wow! (she claps her hands)

SYLVIE
(claps her hands)
You're a great singer! Such a beautiful song!

MOLLY
You have a nice voice!

RYAN
Thank you. This is the first time I have sung it in public.
I'm a bit nervous about singing it at my audition.

SYLVIE
You'll do fine. They'll love you!

MOLLY
Yeah, break a leg!

RYAN
Thanks. That's encouraging. I want to give you one of
my lemons.

He tosses one of his lemons towards the girls. Neither catch it. It lands right between them. It is not apparent if he was wanting one of them to catch it.  Sylvie picks it up.

RYAN
I can't give you two, because then I would have
only one to juggle. Even with two it wouldn't
be much of a movie.

SYLVIE
With two you can still get on a soap.

RYAN
Really?

SYLVIE
Positive (as she winks at Molly)
Molly and I are living in a soap. Kind of.

Ryan looks puzzeled. Molly is a bit less puzzeled.

RYAN
The lemon is magic by the way.

MOLLY AND SYLVIE TOGETHER
Magic!!?

RYAN
Yeah.... you'll see.

The girls look at each other.

RYAN
Well, see you.

SYLVIE AND MOLLY TOGETHER
See you!

Ryan walks away juggling his two lemons. He sings his song as he walks away. The girls head towards Safeway. They are seen walking on a sidewalk. Sylvie is carrying the lemon, juggling it once in a while.

SYLVIE
Hey, I'm pretty good. Well, not as good as Ryan.

Molly looks jealous. She wants to juggle the lemon.

MOLLY
Can I try it?

SYLVIE
Oh I guess so.

Sylvie tosses the lemon to Molly. Molly is delighted to get it. She juggles it a bit. They continue walking.

In the distance the figure of a man is seen. It is the driver of the car that they chased. At first his face cannot be seen, as he is holding binoculars which block his face. He lowers the binoculars and lets them hang from a neck strap, and keeps looking at the girls. He raises one arm slightly and discreetly smells his armpit. Then he does the same with his other arm. The girls don't notice him.

They enter Safeway.

FADE OUT

FADE IN

The girls exit Safeway carrying one bag each. They walk home. Shots of them walking home, some of which are while walking behind the camera dolly.

CUT TO
Their apartment. They had put the lemon in one of the bags with their groceries. They set their bags on the counter. They don't see it, but the lemon rolls out behind one of the bags. Sylvie walks into the living room and sits down. She discreetly smells her arm pits.

Molly starts putting the groceries away. One counter drawer is open a bit. Molly moves one of the bags and the lemon rolls into the drawer. She closes the drawer without seeing the lemon in it.

She opens a package of fish sticks and nukes a few. She looks for the lemon and can't find it. She looks towards Sylvie. She starts looking everywhere in the kitchen. The cupboards, the fridge, the freezer. She moves everything on the counter. She starts to get frantic.

She looks everywhere again. She starts to slam cupboards. Sylvie looks over. Molly stomps over to where Sylvie is sitting in the living room.

MOLLY
OK. Where is it?

SYLVIE
Where's what?

MOLLY
The lemon. I want the lemon for my fish sticks.

SYLVIE
It's in one of the bags. That's where I saw it last.

Molly stomps off into the kitchen and looks again. She looks in places she didn't look before. She looks in the empty grocery bags. She gets angry and stomps back to Sylvie.

MOLLY
OK, give it to me! The jokes over. I want my fucking lemon! (Fucking will be bleeped out.....
bleeps are funny)

SYLVIE
I don't have it. Plus I don't think it's  "your " lemon.

MOLLY
It's my fucking lemon and you do fucking have it! (two bleeps)

SYLVIE
Quit swearing at me! I don't have the fucking (bleep) lemon!
(beat)
Go look again. It must be there somewhere.

MOLLY
(still hot) I've looked every fucking where (bleep)

She stomps off and looks in the fridge and cupboards again. Finally she looks in the drawer which she missed before. She walks slowly over to Sylvie.

MOLLY
I found it. It somehow got in one of the drawers. I am sorry I swore at you. And I'm sorry I accused you of hiding it.

SYLVIE (stands up)
That's OK. Let me hug you.
We're still friends. (they hug)

MOLLY
Ryan did say it was a magic lemon. Maybe it hid itself.

They both laugh. Molly brings her fish sticks, knife, fork and lemon to the dining table and eats. Sylvie gets out a sheet of paper with some words written on it.

MOLLY
There's more fish sticks if you want any and there's still lots of juice in the lemon.
(she holds it up)

SYLVIE
Thanks. I'll have some in a bit. I want to spend some time working on
my song. I'm almost finished.

Molly finishes her fish sticks and takes her dish and utensils into the kitchen.

MOLLY.
OK. I'll go to my room and put together a slutty outfit for your audition.

SYLVIE
Thanks. That would be nice. I appreciate it. Oh, how slutty will it be?

MOLLY
(mischevious) You'll see!

Molly exits through the kitchen.

CUT TO

Sylvie is sitting on the couch, with a clipboard and paper and pen. She is working on a song she has been working on for some time. She writes some lines on the paper, crosses out some, sings a line, sings it again with different emphasis, underlines a word. She smells her armpits. She sings the last 3 lines aloud, and gets a satisfied look on her face. Her song is finished. (this should take about two minutes)

She decides to sing the song into her phone and record it. She presses record on her phone. She starts singing.

CUT TO
Molly coming into the living room area carrying some clothes for Sylvie.

MOLLY
I put together a slutty outfit for you. I think this will look
good on you.

SYLVIE
Thanks. I'll try it on.

Sylvie tries on the slutty outfit, Molly helps her. They laugh and have fun as they do so. Sylvie will be auditioning for a movie set in the 1800's. Her outfit is modern. It doesn't matter. They will do improv dialogue for about 3-4 minutes, it will be edited to about 2 minutes. No nudity.

MOLLY
That looks good! You look like a real hooker.

Sylvie looks in mirror.

SYLVIE
Yeah, it looks OK. I want to be noticed at my audition. Hey,
I got an idea!

MOLLY
What?

SYLVIE
I finished writing my song. Why don't I sing it in this outfit? And would you
record it on your phone?

MOLLY
Sure.

SYLVIE
Just a minute, I want to fix my hair better.

Sylvie exits.

FADE OUT

FADE IN

Sylvie is standing, ready to sing her song. She looks at Molly who is holding
her phone in two hands, recording.

MOLLY
OK, I'm recording.... Action!!

Sylvie sings her song. She looks at an imaginary audience sometimes, and sometimes at Molly. She does not look at the camera.

Title....A Movie Hooker
The actress can sing it in her own style and
change it a bit. It doesn't have to rhyme and be like a proper song. 

I'm taking acting classes
I wannabe like big time movie star
Except not overdose on drugs
I wanna do it with a president
And not with a sleazy director

I watch old Hollywood movies
I can kinda act like that
But they give me only hooker roles
I'm nice but I'm a movie hooker

Yeah I'm nice but I'm a movie hooker
And I have to wear slutty outfits

Why oh why do I get these roles?
I'm almost actually practically a virgin
Yeah I'm almost actually practically a virgin

They say someone's gotta do it
But why does it have to be me?
I'm a nice girl and I don't do it for money,
Though I had a guy offer 800 bucks,
But I said no go fuck yourself  (bleeped)

Why oh why do I get these roles?
I'm almost actually practically a virgin
I'm sorta almost actually a virgin
Yeah I'm almost actually practically a virgin. 

(Some of the longs are too long, making the song harder to sing. This is inentional. )

Song is sung a capella by Sylvie. It is silly and absurd but she will sing it like it is a great song. Colourful backgrounds which change, some sort of psychedelic, will be put behind her as she sings.

Sylvie can sing it however she wants. She can impersonate Marilyn Monroe, or make an attempt.

Cutaways to Molly recording with her phone, with smiles on her face like she is witnessing a great song and a great performance.

The song ends. Molly whoops, Sylvie bows to an imaginary audience and Molly's phone. Molly stops recording.

MOLLY
How did you do that?

SYLVIE
Do what?

MOLLY
Make the background change. That weird sky and everything.

Sylvie was unaware that the background was changing.
Molly looks right at the camera man, and then at the camera.

MOLLY
Something is going on........ and I think it has something to do with the guy in the car too.

Sylvie looks at Molly without revealing that she knows they are in a soap.

MOLLY
Well your song was great. I recorded it all.

SYLVIE
OK, thanks. Maybe I'll put it on youtube. I feel like some tea.

You want some tea?

MOLLY
Sounds good.

FADE OUT

FADE IN

Sylvie is pouring tea. They sit at the table opposite each other. Molly is fussing with her phone.

MOLLY
That's weird, no backgrounds.

SYLVIE
What do you mean?

MOLLY
I'm playing back your song and there are no weird backgrounds, just the room
here.

Molly shows her phone to Sylvie. There is a close up of her phone.

MOLLY
But now there's no backgrounds.

SYLVIE
Maybe you were imaginning it?

MOLLY
I saw it. It sure seemed real.

They sip their tea.

MOLLY
I've been thinking about Ryan, the lemon guy.
He was hot.

SYLVIE
Why are you thinking about him? You're in a relationship. What about Owen?

MOLLY
Well,.. we kind of split up.... Actually we split up.

SYLVIE
Why did you split up?

MOLLY
He sold his car.

SYLVIE
Oh.

MOLLY
What about you? How are things with you and Pam?

SYLVIA
Uhh, we split up. I changed my mind about being a lesbian.
(beat)
It's not that great.
(beat)
And she sold her car.

MOLLY
Oh.

They sip their tea.

MOLLY
Hey I've got an idea! I can sing my song! The one that guy wrote for me and we
were going to put on youtube!  I can sing it now and
you can record it.

SYLVIE
OK, and you can put it on youtube.

MOLLY
Cool.

Molly stands up and they position themselves for the song performance. Sylvie holds her phone in two hands to record. Molly sings to an imaginary audience and to Sylvie's phone. The actress here is encouraged to sing it in her own style, and pace. A country and western approach might work. A cowboy hat can be worn perhaps. Molly is in a bikini with the wrap partially open so her bikini shows a bit. She is expressive and uses her hands and arms as she sings. She may take her wrap off part way through her song. She will sing it 2 or 3 times, shot from different angles.  There will be lots of crossfades like in music videos. It will be artistic.

As she sings, Molly turns to look behind her 2 times, first one way and then the other way. She is looking to see
if the background changes behind her. She realizes it isn't and doesn't look anymore.

Title..... Don't Drop The Baby

When I was just a babe of one,
And my sister was thirteen,
She was holding me in her arm as she walked,
When she suddenly got a phone call,

It musta been an important call,
Cause she kinda forgot about me,
She talked and I wiggled and fell on the floor,
She had to cut off her con-ver-sation.

I just wouldn't stop cryin',
I had bumped my head on the floor,
It changed me comp-letely,
When I got older I turned into a whore.

So don't drop the baby,
Or she'll turn out like me,
I've had hundreds of boyfriends
I don't know all their names,
I can't hold a job and I'm late on my rent

Oh don't drop the baby, or she'll turn out like me,
No don't drop the baby or she'll turn out like me.

Molly bows to Sylvia and to the imaginary audience. Sylvie whoops. She puts her phone down and claps.

SYLVIE
Bravo! Bravo! Awsome! Let's put it on youtube!

MOLLY
Thanks. There was no background change, did you see that?

SYLVIE
I don't know what you mean.

MOLLY
Well, whatever. Would you take some pictures of me for my agent
in my bikini? I told her I would send a pic of me in my new bikini.

SYLVIE.
Sure. And you can take some of me in this outfit for my agent.

Sylvie takes some pictures of Molly in different poses. They do some
improv talking. Molly takes some pictures of Sylvie.  They take selfies
of them both together. Molly's phone rings.

MOLLY
Hey..... (she listens on phone)

SYLVIE
(looking at Molly, stage whispers)
..... .going for a walk...... (she points at door)

Molly nods. Sylvie walks out. Molly talks on phone.

MOLLY
I forget the name. I always just buy them because I recognize the color
of the package. ............. It's got kind of a rainbow on it..............

........ hummm..... I dunno...... hm..maybe... (some of this can be improve)
Colors, I think there's blue, black, red and green................. I think it feels
the same with any color.... like why would the color matter?

....... some guys don't like that I carry condoms, but I think
it's good to be prepared.....

yeah......

CUT TO

Sylvie walking outside. She is wearing her hooker outfit. She walks in front of an old house, and sees an old chair on it's side near the sidewalk. She sets the chair up and sings her song. She finishes singing and starts walking home.


CUT TO

Molly still on phone

MOLLY
.......They've got these little kind of bumps on them...... yeah.......

CUT TO
Ryan, walking on a sidwalk in expensive residential area.  He discreetly smells his armpits.

RYAN
Say it like you mean it.......
Say it like you mean it......
Say it like you mean it......
(He stops talking, keeps walking, and then speaks, more determined this time)
Say it like you mean it....
Say it like you MEAN it
Say it like you MEAN IT.


He continues walking. He comes to a small park that slopes towards the ocean. There is a park bench there. He walks to the bench and stands up on it. He faces the ocean and then faces towards the camera but does not look at the camera. The camera is low and he is silouetted against the sky, mountains and ocean. He raises his arms up like he is God, about to give an order to the universe.

RYAN
Change!! Strange sky! Change!! CHANGE!

There is lightning and thunder and the sky changes. Ryan looks back to see it. Colors, rainbows, images appear and leave. The faces of the girls appear and change and leave.

RYAN
(big smile)
Wow! Awsome! I wasn't sure it would work!

He sings his song again. He sings looking at an imaginary crowd.  (It will be made amazing in editing. )

While he sings, GEEK GIRL is sitting on a park bench watching him. There are cutaways to her as Ryan sings. Geek girl is wearing big glasses. She has her hair in a "nerd" or "geek" style and is maybe wearing a baseball cap on backwards. She smiles at him as he sings without showing her teeth. When he finishes, she smiles widely and speaks. As she smiles, we she has only two or three front teeth.  She claps her hands.

GEEK GIRL
Wow! That was fantastic!
(big smile)

RYAN
Thanks. It's for a movie.

GEEK GIRL
I know.

CUT TO
Molly still on phone.

MOLLY
......OK, I don't want to keep talking about condoms all day. I'm going to go out for a walk.
Maybe I'll see Sylvie. Maybe I'll sing my soap song. ................ ...........my  soap song......no..
it's not about soap.....
It's complicated, I'll tell you some other time.......... Bye.

Molly hangs up and walks out.

FADE OUT
FADE IN

Molly walking on sidewalk. She comes to a place similar to where Ryan sang, with the ocean, mountains and sky in the background. She stands on a park bench or table, and faces towards the camera, and then turns towards the ocean. As she turns, the "magic sky" appears and she faces towards the camera and is absolutely delighted. She sings her song as if singing to a crowd gathered in front of her. She finishes and the sky turns plain again. She starts walking home.

FADE OUT
FADE IN

Inside, a bit later. Molly and Sylvie are home sitting at their kitchen table.

MOLLY
And the sky changed for me, I don't know how they did it.

SYLVIE
Maybe it's the lemon. Maybe it is magic.

CUT TO
Outside.  Ryan is walking, and walks up to the main door on the girls apartment. He rings the buzzer.

CUT TO
Inside. Buzzer rings.  Sylvie answers.

SYLVIE
Hello? .......... Ryan.....? oh, comeon in!!

Sylvie buzzes him in and speaks to Molly

SYLVIE
It's Ryan! He's here!

There is a knock at the door. Molly hurries to answer the door. She lets Ryan in. He enters the dining area.

MOLLY
How did you find our place?

RYAN
I homed in on the lemon. It was quite easy actually.

SYLVIE
I was wondering if we would ever see you again.

RYAN
No need to worry about that. We have the magic lemon connection.
Ahh, I'll explain it one day.
(beat) Here's my two other lemons, one for each of you.

He tosses them each a lemon. The girls catch them.

SYLVIE
Thanks.

MOLLY
Yeah thanks.

RYAN
You're welcome. I don't need them anymore, because...... I got the part!

SYLVIE
Awesome!

MOLLY
Yeah awesome!

RYAN
The song is what did it. They liked my singing.
(beat)
I was wondering if you would both like to sing it it with me?

MOLLY AND SYLVIE TOGETHER
Sure!

They sing either Ryan's song, or Don't Drop The Baby. Ryan stands in the middle.  Sometimes, individually, they look at the camera. At the end of the song, Ryan pulls them both towards him. They all look in such a way like maybe they are going to become really good friends.



The song ends.

RYAN
This is really disruptive..... Looking at the camera.

SYLVIE
Well, it's medium disruptive maybe. He did it
in one of his early films.

MOLLY
I never had to take my top off.

SYLVIE
Is that relevant?

RYAN
What happens now?

MOLLY
I think we fade out.

SYLVIE
Yeah we fade out.

FADE TO BLACK. Only voices heard.

MOLLY
I loved the colourful skies.

RYAN
I thought we were faded out.

SYLVIE
We are but they can still hear us.

MOLLY
Will there be a sequel?

SYLVIE
I don't know. Maybe.

MOLLY
If there is I'll take my top off next time.

RYAN
Cool!

SYLVIE
I don't think you'll have to.

MOLLY
I want to!

SYLVIE
Look, it's over already.

MOLLY
I will, really.

END, credits.

During the credits, each actor will be on screen when their name is shown. During other titles, bits of other scenes will be shown. One of the other songs will be heard.

Possible extra bit.... as the three finish singing, the Narrator comes in from the side and says she wants to sing too. She herds the 3 towards the back, and sings one of the songs. This might be used during the credits or after the credits. Some bloopers might be used too.

COPYRIGHT 2020. Using any part of this script is prohibited without written consent from Steve Cosmic.

For potential investors. This project will comply with the Securities and Exchange laws of the province of British Columbia. It is for accredited investors only. An accredited investor is someone with a high net worth, or a high income. It is not for someone who wants to invest their life savings.

After signing an agreement and paying, the investor(s) will have 3 days to change their mind and get their money back.

This offer is void in Pennsylvania.


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