Help save rape
victims from suicide.
A short film.

My Me Too

A brave and powerful
short film. About 20 minutes
long. Mostly a monologue. It
will save lives. Full script
below.

Two actresses wanted, one
19-23, pay TBA. Another
about 11, pay TBA.

AUDITION dates TBA,
awaiting funding,
but you can apply now.
In Vancouver.





My 111 IMDB movie credits are here.
picture of movie award
picture of festival award
picture of film award
picture of remi award
picture of music video award
picture of film award
picture of movie award
picture of film festival
picture of film festival award
Can rape really lead to suicide? Definitely. Look here.

Rape and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, here.



My Me Too
A short dramatic enhanced monologue.

Based on the short script Me Too, and the feature script A Wannabe Girl
By Steve Cosmic

Draft 3.1 September 27, 2018

This movie will be somewhat like a one person stage play. But instead of 2 or 3 set changes there will be many. This will be because it will be shot on green screen, giving the editor the freedom to use a multitude of backgrounds, including some which can be moving.

There will also be multi images sometimes.

This movie is mostly a monologue, but one very dramatic scene with an 11 year old girl will be seamlessly slipped into the monologue.

There is no nudity.


With green screen, the green will be removed in editing, leaving a totally black background. This will give a stark, kind of naked look to the scene. There will be many close ups. The stark black background will be used in places where it is most effective, and other times backgrounds which suit the dialogue will be used.

This image gives an idea of what I mean. (Though this movie will be different than the image.)














It is important than any actress studying this script understands that this will be a very dramatic, captivating, and powerful movie. It will be very challenging. And it will win awards.



FADE IN

MONA is sitting in a simple chair. She is dressed plainly. Part of her face may be in shadow. The background is black at the start. MONA LOOKS AT THE CAMERA MOST OF THE TIME.


MONA

Hello, my name is Mona.... I was raped..... This is what happened to me. This is my me too story.
(beat)
I want to tell my story.
(beat)
I have thought about it for a long time, and I want to tell it here, so lots of people hear it. ......

Mona looks away, and then looks back at the camera.
(beat)
I might start crying sometimes.
(beat)
I might get angry sometimes.
(beat)
Oh, there is one part that is kinda funny, with me and my friend Natalie.

And a scary part too where I almost killed myself.
(beat)

Mona takes some breaths.

About a year ago I was house sitting a guy's place. It was arranged through a house setting service. I got paid to stay there, and all I had to do was water the guy's plants and answer the phone if I was there..... I didn't have to be there all the time.

I told my friend Natalie about it and she thought it was cool.

THE BACKGROUND WILL CHANGE FROM BLACK AND FADE IN TO A PARK.

















It was a nice neighbourhood with a park across the street. I was drinking coffee there one day when I saw a guy walking.  He had a coffee too, and he sat on the bench by me and we talked.

He said he was an actor, and he was hoping to get a break and get a role in a movie. He gave me his card, which had his picture and his name, and his phone number and the word Actor on it. I had never seen a card like that before.

I had been in a play in high school and told him I was interested in acting. He told me he knew a director. He was funny. He made me laugh a few times.

Oh, and he was really cute. I mean really cute. Like a big Hollywood star.

THE BACKGROUND FADES TO BLACK

We finished our coffees and went our separate ways. As I walked away I called Natalie and told her about him. She said I should be careful.
I hung around home for a day watching TV and got kinda bored. Natalie was going to university and studying so I never saw her. She hadn't been over to my house sitting place yet.

So being bored, I started thinking about the cute guy. I called him and invited him over for coffee. I said I wanted to ask him about acting. We set a time for him to come an hour later.

I tidied the place and made coffee for his visit.

CUT TO WEBCAM VIEW OF MONA MODELLING HER SWEATER.

Then I modeled my new sweater for Natalie. I used the homesitting guy's computer and webcam. Natalie's laptop didn't have a webcam, but she could see me. We talked using our phones.

CUT TO WEBCAM VIEW OF MONA TURNING HER PHONE OFF AND SETTING IT DOWN AND WALKING OUT OF FRAME. EMPTY COUCH IS VISIBLE FOR A BIT.

Right then the cute guy buzzed and I said bye to Natalie and turned my phone off and let him in.





















We sat on my couch and had our coffee, and he told me about his acting classes and a short film he was in. He made me laugh again.
(beat)
I asked him if he wanted more coffee.
(beat) (beat)

(emotional)
He suddenly moved over by me and put his arm around and tried to kiss me. I said what are you doing!!?!?

And he grabbed me all over!!! I tried to push him away but I couldn't !!....

I yelled. He put his hand over my mouth. He bent one of my fingers like he was going to break it.....

(more emotional) He..... he raped me. (sob)

Then he left. I felt just awful, ... I felt sick.... I had a bath. I sat in the tub and cried and cried.

(beat) (beat) I could barely move. I didn't call Natalie. I didn't feel like talking. I wanted to die.
(beat)

I stayed inside for three days and didn't turn my phone on. When I did turn it on, Natalie called. She was mad at me for not turning my phone on. She didn't know the house sitting guy's number or where I lived, so she couldn't call or come over. She asked if I was OK. I told her I was OK. She said are you sure, like after what happened?

I said what do you mean? Nothing happened. And I told her I was going to go out for a walk and I'd call her later.

On my walk I saw a tackboard with all kinds of posters on it. There was a poster for entering a bikini contest. I instantly tore off a phone number and I don't know why. Something just said enter that contest.

CUT TO TACKBOARD WITH POSTERS INCLUDING BIKINI CONTEST POSTER



















I told Natalie on the phone and she thought I was crazy. ...... I was still telling her nothing happened.

I started training for the contest. I exercised at home and I jogged in my bikini. At first I was uncomfortable jogging in my bikini. But I knew I had to get used to people looking at me. (In this movie, Mona will jog in her bikini for about 4 or 5 seconds. SHE WILL BE IN THE DISTANCE. It will be shot indoors and made to look like it is outside.)

BRIEF SHOT OF MONA USING SOME HAND WEIGHTS, LOOKING IN A MIRROR AS SHE DOES SO.

BACKGROUND WILL SHOW A FEW SECONDS OF MONA JOGGING OUTSIDE.

It may look similar to the composite photo here, but better, because it will be shot on green screen.





















During the above, there will be a close up of Mona, staring at the camera but not talking. The "background Mona" will be heard chanting, "Nothing happened. Nothing happened, nothing happened, ........"

(beat). Sometimes when I jogged or exercised I would suddenly start crying. I mean REALLY crying.

REMEMBER MONA IS LOOKING RIGHT AT THE CAMERA MOST OF THE TIME.

(beat)

One time....... (beat).... I went up on the roof. I walked to the edge and looked over the edge and down at the pavement below. (beat) I put one leg over the edge of the railing. I was crying. I looked down.

SHOT OF PAVEMENT BELOW.

AT THIS POINT THE MONOLOGUE WILL TURN INTO A REGULAR MOVIE SCENE. IT WILL BE SHOT ON GREEN SCREEN AND MADE TO LOOK LIKE IT IS ON THE ROOF OF A HIGH RISE APARTMENT. TENSE MUSIC IS HEARD.


















MONA TAKES A BREATH AS IF SHE IS GOING TO PUSH HERSELF OVER THE EDGE. The rooftop door slams. Mona turns suddenly towards the sound of the door.


ISABEL, age 11, possibly Chinese, walks from the rooftop door over to MONA, and looks up at her.

ISABEL
(wide eyed) Were you going to jump?

MONA
Yes.

ISABEL
Are you really sad?

MONA
Yes.

ISABEL
My Grandpa said if I ever get really sad I should go to 12 step meetings.

MONA
12 steps? What's 12 steps?

ISABEL
Grandpa says they're the 12 steps to happiness.

MONA
What do you do at those meetings?

ISABEL
Grandpa says you talk with your heart.

MONA
What does talk with your heart mean?

ISABEL
I'm not sure. Grandpa said I'll know if I go there.

MONA
(beat)
Why did you come up here?

ISABEL
To talk to my Grandpa.

ISABEL PULLS INCENSE AND A LIGHTER FROM HER POCKET.

ISABEL
I light the incense and I talk to him.

MONA
What are you going to say to him?

ISABEL
I'm going to tell him that the tree we planted is getting big.

MONA looks down at ISABEL who is staring at her. She gets teary. She realizes what has just happened.

MONA
You..... you saved my life.

ISABEL (She doesn't know what to say, but feels she should say something.)
I was just going to talk to my grandpa. ...I'm Isabel.


ISABEL'S face is seen looking up at MONA.  SLOW FADE OUT ON ISABEL'S FACE

END OF MOVIE TYPE SCENE. WE NOW GO BACK TO THE MONOLOGUE

MONA (looking at camera)
She saved my life. I'd be dead..... (the word dead trails off, as Mona swallows)
(beat) (beat)
I saw Natalie the next day. I still hadn't told her about being raped. She said pretending nothing happened was not going to work. (beat) I played dumb like I didn't know what she was talking about.

(beat)
She yelled at me to stop playing! She said she knew I was raped and she saw it. She saw it in her computer through the home sitting guy's webcam.

I was shocked. She said she saw it all. (beat) Natalie cried as she told me what she did. She said she started calling the police and realized she didn't know where I was. And she didn't know the number of the home sitting guy and my phone was turned off.

Then she hit record. She recorded most of it. I couldn't believe she had recorded it.

(beat) We cried and we hugged. I realized what she had been through too. And we cried some more. (beat)
And then we talked about what to do. We decided I should tell the police. I had the guy's number and his card, and she had the recording.

A day later I was jogging and I suddently started crying.

(THE JOGGING ABOVE WILL BE SHOWN IN THE BACKGROUND)

A lady about my mother's age asked me what was wrong. I told her I was raped. ..... She said me too. I told her I had almost killed myself. She said me too.

I told her I was going in a bikini contest and she said she posed for nude pictures.

She said she had healed. She went to therapy and support groups.

She told me she had met a nice man and got married, and she had two grown kids, and she was happy now.

I couldn't believe it. But I did belive her. She hugged me and she walked with me for a while. She made me feel quite a bit better.

(beat) (beat)
I quit exercising and training. But I still went in the bikini contest. I knew in the contest they would all want me, and that they couldn't touch me. I didn't see it at first, but that's why I was doing it.

I wanted them to want me so I could laugh at them.
(beat)

Well I didn't win, but I got a hundred bucks for entering. Natalie and I spent it on junk food. We bought cake and pizza and expensive chocolates and beer and cheeze and about 6 kinds of chips and crackers.
We pigged out. We made jokes about how fat we were going to get and how many pimples we would get.

Eventually the guy got 5 years in prison.

I went to therapy and a support group. I got strong enough to lead the group sometimes. I told my story over and over to the new people. The more I told it, the better I felt.

I looked for the girl on the roof a few times but I never saw her again. I pray for her sometimes.

(beat)
Well, that's my me too story. It's different than other stories that I heard. But my therapist and my support group friends understand why I did what I did. They don't think I'm weird.

I found the more people I tell the better I feel. I'm OK now... Well, not totally OK. But way better than a year ago. Some days I'm actually happy. (a shy smile.)

Oh, we both got pimples from eating all that junk food! (laughs)

(Serious and emotional, staring at camera)
One thing I learned is... (she takes a big breath... feels pride).....
is that I matter. (beats) And you matter too.

LONG, SLOW SLOW FADE OUT AS MONA STARES AT THE CAMERA.

A shorter version of the song in the music video below will be heard during the credits. Another monologue short film I made won a Platinum Award and a Best Actress Award. That's me, and the actress and the producer with our awards, in the photo. To watch it, click here.

The credits will have these words or similar....
"In memory of my sister Joyce. A rape victim
who suffered all her life, and ended her life
by suicide."





















Notes about the child actor. Rape and suicide are mature topics and not suitable for most kids about 11. I have thought of a way of shooting this which is mindful of the mature themes of this movie. Many kids have heard of suicides by the time they are 11. I know I did.

They don't have to know about the rape. They can be told the movie is about a young woman who is very sad. Kids can understand sadness. There is a line.... "Are you really sad?" which kids can understand. During their shoot there is no mention of rape. We can shoot the roof scene and that
is all they will be exposed to. When they are older they can see the whole movie. The roof scene is all shot in a studio on green screen.... we don't go up on a roof. The shoot for the child actor will take about an hour.
For the child's audition, we can shoot the whole scene. If they do well,
I will use it, and they will get paid right away, with no need to come back.

The child actor can have a demo reel of just that scene when it is edited.

THE BELOW was sent to some kids acting schools, which explains more:

***************************************

Hello Acting School Administrator,

I am looking for an actress, about 10 to 12, maybe 13, for a short
scene in a dramatic movie.

The movie has a mature theme, so the parents of the child must be
willing to explain the scene to their daughter. Of course one parent
will be at the shoot, which will take about an hour.

The scene is about a young woman, early 20's, who is on a high roof, about
to commit suicide by jumping off.

Our young actress (named Isabel) saves her, and talks to her. She is the heroine of the movie.

So the parents must explain to our Isabel, that some people get very sad, and they
want to kill themselves. This can be a learning experience, for parents and daughter.

The full script for this 12 minute movie is on a webpage. It is suggested that the
parents of our heroine Isabel show her ONLY HER SCENE.

For the parents to want to do this, they must like the script. And they must appreciate
the social importance of the movie, and how it can help save some rape victims from
committing suicide. They can refrain from showing the finished movie to their daughter
until she is older, at their discretion.

Our Isabel will get a demo reel of just her scene, and an IMDB movie credit.

IMPORTANT NOTE: The scene will be shot in my home studio, on green screen, and
made to look like it is up on a high rise roof. It is very safe.

The demo reel might help this young actress get a role in a major movie with high pay.

I ask that you please forward this to the parents of any of your acting students whom
you might think can play the role.

This movie can truly save some lives. How it can do this is apparent in the script
and other details found on this page:

http://www.stevecosmic.com/mymetoo.html

I have won 8 awards for my filmmaking, with some of them being broadcast on TV. I believe this  movie will be my best movie ever, and that it will win awards too.

Thank you for your time, and for your help in making this meaningful movie.

Sincerely,
Steve Cosmic
steve@stevecosmic.com
604-731-0090
www.stevecosmic.com

Can you donate?

I want to shoot this ASAP. Covid is a problem, but it can still be done. Extra effort and expense will be needed because of covid. Renting a well ventilated space for auditions, rehearsals and filming will add to the cost.  

I have been trying to make this movie since 2015. I feel driven to do it, but very discouraged at the same time. Myself I was sexually abused as a child. It has caused me great depression at different times in my life. I feel empathy for our Mona. I cry sometimes when I read the script.

I feel I was meant to make this movie. I know it will help save some rape victims from suicide.

I also have a 22-26 minute version of this movie, and a full length, 90 minute version. It will be even harder to get funding for those projects. (Though the 90 minute version could make money, so it would be an investment rather than a donation to anyone funding it.)

I tried making this short movie offering semi volunteer pay. I got some interest but people dropped out. I now realize that I have to offer good pay to get the people I need.

I live on my pension. I am 72. I want to make this movie before I die. A movie like this may have saved my sister Joyce if she saw it in time.

Of course it will not save every suicidal rape victim who sees it. But it will save a certain percentage. That makes it worth it, doesn't it? If you want to help rape victims, this is an easy way for you to help. You just supply the money. The lead actress, and the female producer and other assistants and I will be doing all of the emotional work.

I need a new computer too. My present computer is 11 years old. A year ago one hard drive crashed and I lost a lot of files. Last spring my graphics card crashed. A new graphics card would not work in it, and I had to fix it with a used graphics card from eBay. It's on borrowed time right now. A new Mac Pro for editing costs about 9K USD. My 2 monitors are 11 years old too, and up to date monitors would help too. About $1200 more for monitors.



Here is my best attempt at explaining exactly how this movie will save lives.

It is unusual. It is well made. It can save SOME rape victims from suicide, IF IT IS WATCHED RIGHT TO THE END.

Early youtube tests showed it was only watched for a few seconds by most viewers. People who stumbled upon it lost interest right away. For someone depressed, having a bath or washing their dishes are big accomplishments, after a week of neglect. They are more inclined to just watch TV or stare out the window, rather than search youtube for videos which might help them. (I know this from experience when I had sexual abuse memories surface around 16 years ago.)

Others who are less depressed will try to ignore the memories, though they know the memories are still affecting them. They are up and down, with less frequent thoughts of suicide. Such people might happen to see the film at a film festival. They might be at the festival, live or online, for escape reasons. The "Me Too" aspect of it might interest them enough to watch the film. They are likely to watch right to the end, because they will identify with Mona.

THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO MIGHT BE SAVED.

It costs money to submit the movie to festivals. I have asked two sisters who can help with this movie. They have some money of their own, and they know some rich people they could ask to help.

But they ignored my request. They prefer to believe that our sister Joyce "Made it up to get attention" after she told us. Our sister Joyce was raped by her father when she was 14. She suffered terribly because of it. She took her own life when she was about 72.

I made this movie in memory of her.

I spent two months, writing to about 300 festivals, asking them to waive their submission fees. About 49 did so. I have also asked 3 people from my past who are rich to help. I have tried an indigogo campaign, and a gofundme campaign with no donations. I wrote to about 20 of the Sharks and Dragons, 3 or 4 times. Often I cried when I did this work, because it made me think of my sister Joyce.

I pray that some money will come in. I recently used much of my $500 BC government grant to pay for a few upcoming festivals. I need about $22,000 USD to submit it to 500 of the better film festivals. I will be happy to get any amount.

Just some kind words will be appreciated. When I was looking for an actress for this movie on facebook I was scorned, ridiculed and insulted. It was very hard for me to make this movie.

I am grateful for those people at the festivals who have recognized the merits of this movie.








Email me here
HOME PAGE
33% of rape victims think of suicide. 13% attempt suicide. Help needed to save some rape victims from suicide.

Donations wanted. You only provide money. I do the tough emotional work. I need about $24,000 ($19,000 USD) to do it properly. Some of the money will be for film festivals and social media promo and other promo. The more it is seen, the better.

Some kind words and encouragement appreciated too. Thanks.
OVER 30 FESTIVALS, 10 nominations, 8 awards.
Look here too!
Very important!
Any amount helps!
Any amount helps!
This is the trailer for a recently completed simpler version of the short film. It is not as good as what I had originally planned below, but it's good enough. It will still save some lives. Donations wanted
to get it into more film festivals. I figure it will cost $180 to save a life. Look here.
This page is archived. This page shows how I had originally planed to make this movie. I wanted to find donors so I could pay everyone well, and get extra help which would lighten my emotional load. The movie was going to have an 11 year old girl, with a roof scene, which would have made the movie much more dramatic.

I asked everyone I knew who had the money to help, but none did. Frankly I got depressed for a while when I realized I could not make it the way I wanted to make it. Sometimes I prayed to my sister who was raped and later took her own life, and asked her what I should do.

I advertised for a volunteer actress and got two applicants and picked the best one.
I re-worked the script without the 11 year old girl and the roof scene. Having an assistant and a producer would have given me emotional support, and lightened my workload, which would have made it easier. But I had to do it all myself.

About $8000 to $10,000 of the budget was going to be for social marketing experts. I wanted to get many many views on youtube and facebook.

(After some tests on youtube with what I was calling the demo version I found through analytics that people were only watching a bit of it. For it to work, it has to be watched to the end. I also realized that depressed rape victims were not looking for movies of this type on youtube. I then discovered where this movie will work properly, and that is at film festivals.)

I then dropped the word "demo" from the title, and found some film festivals which waived their submission fees for it. It was a lot of work writing to about 300 of them.
I am now seeking donations for paid film festival submissions, link here and below.